I started this mess as a way to express myself.
Sure, the blog title itself is EMS related, but I didn’t create it specifically for EMS purposes. It was supposed to be an outlet for me. I started writing on Myspace for crying out loud!
This was supposed to be a place to celebrate the little things and the big things. I’ve been writing since my early days the job. I started by writing about what I was feeling while on runs as a new basic. I wrote about the first time I did CPR and felt that sickening “crack” that the instructors talk about. I wrote about when my daughter cut her beautiful blonde hair with my trauma sheers and covered herself in glitter. I wrote about going to medic school and failing. I wrote about going to medic school and succeeding. I wrote about the first (and the third) time that an infant was thrust into my arms with a parent (or a firefighter) begging me to do what I could do. I wrote about feeling helpless on hospice runs. I wrote about the number of times I watched poor CPR on network television.
My posts are kind of random. Then again, so am I.
900 posts later (holy hell, 900?) and I think I’ve lost my way. Somewhere along the line I decided that anything I published should be EMS related and worth reading. And by “worth reading” I mean something along the lines of The Happy Medic, or CKEMTP, or Tom Bouthillet or Ambulance Driver, or Scott Kier.
What I didn’t get until now is that I’m not them. I’m just a chick in Ohio with a passion for EMS and a couple of kids who I adore like it’s my job… I don’t have the experiences that the veterans have. I don’t have those experiences Yet. Well some of them I have… But honestly, I still feel all green and sparky and baby duck-like.
That being said, I’m reclaiming my blog.
This is my place. You can read it or you can skip it. You can comment, or you can choose not to. Just know this, the days of me fretting over whether or not what I’m publishing is relevant to EMS are over.
I’m back. And I’m proud of where I am.
Even if it’s just a chick from Ohio who writes what she feels. Even if it’s just a girl who puts pictures of her kids up.
Be safe out there, ya’ll,