Changes.

1/07/10

I’m sitting here in the station in complete darkness surrounded by a symphony of snoring men.

Yes, Boy Wonder, you snore.  D.  You snore too. We all knew the Lt. snores, although tonight he seems to be bringing his own version of shock and awe to the mix.  Shock and awe, ya’ll.  If only they could get their gasps coordinated I would You Tube it in a heartbeat.  Maybe with a little creative editing…

So I’m sitting here, the insomniac that I am, and I can’t help but think about how much has changed in my life in the last year.

It’s like night and day.

12 months ago.

12 months ago after a few months of being hopelessly unemployed, McHottie dragged me down to Ma and Pa EMS to apply for a Basic spot. We were both hired on the spot without having to do as much as filling out an application.  Gainfully employed, this girl rejoiced. It wasn’t pefect, but it was a job doing what I loved.  And no, I didn’t make the above cot. And yes, that’s a backboard strap wrapped over the side rails, but who am I to judge?

Eleven months ago.

11 months ago we had a new addition to the family, our first puppy, Dasher. We quickly learned how much fun it is to raise (and in particular house train) a puppy.  Dash, for his part, chewed everything in the house with the exception of the toys and bones we bought him.  Eleven months later he’s quadrupled in size and still chews everything but the toys and bones.  But he is house trained.

10 months ago my little boy was an anxious wreck.  He needed everyone’s acceptance, he wanted to be a friend to anyone who would talk to him.  This put a tremendous bulls-eye on his eight-year-old back.  He had one friend in the class, and that “friend” was only interested in playing on the Wii or the computer when he’d come over.  Ten months later he’s got more friends than he can count on two hands and he’s constantly on the phone.  His self confidence has grown by leaps and bounds.  He’s accomplished this all while retaining his love of learning.  I couldn’t be prouder.

Nine Months ago…

9 months ago my own precious little snowflake, SWR (that was sarcasm for those of you who are slow to pick up on it), was pushing four-years-old and had been defying me where potty training was concerned for over a year.  This was a massive point of contention between my Mother and I.  I was at my wits end, nothing was working. I read books, I listened to anyone and everyone with advice…   She was completely defying me.  Anyone who’s met her in person would understand what I’m saying completely.  She’s a mini me. Nine months later she’s very much potty trained.  She’s still stubborn as hell (she is my daughter remember), but her meltdowns are fewer and farther between.

8 months ago I met a patient who would change my way of thinking forever.  I met Regina. Up until this point I had tremendous emotional issues when it came to Hospice runs.  In just under three weeks of visits with Regina, watching her body rebel against her, seeing the pain involved where something as evil as Cancer is concerned… I finally learned that death is a release for these patients.  I will never forget Regina, one of the most amazing people I’ve had the honor of meeting.

Seven months ago…

7 months ago my Mom married the man I’ve called my second Father for the last 18 years.  The clouds parted, the birds sang, and for a day our world was all sunshine and roses.  My baby Brother and I rejoiced.  Seven months later she’s finally gotten around to changing her name on her work voice mail.  And my Brother and I are still rejoicing.

6 months ago I determined that P school was going to be an impossibility.  I was resigned to it.  It wasn’t the end of the world, but it was a disappointing setback.    67 people decided that this was unacceptable.  I am to this day, and will always be absolutely humbled by the amazing support of the blogging (the EMS bloggers and readers in particular) community.   It renders me speechless when I try to explain the way it makes me feel.

5 months ago…

5 months ago I started my second attempt at that glitter badge.  I quickly made 13 friends with a common goal and addiction to caffeine.

Four months ago…

4 months ago I stood proudly on the sidelines and watched my boy play his first game of soccer.  Four months later, despite being one of the slower, less experienced members of the team, he still loves the game and wants to play.  His skills are improving and next month hopefully he’ll be starting a six week indoor season!

Three months ago…

3 months ago I realized that I wasn’t getting everything I needed from the P program I was in, which just about killed me.  I was with a group of people who I absolutely adored, people who I felt  at home with.  People who I was very much attached to.  After more than a few phone calls with Rockstar Partner, much soul searching and more than a few tears, I made a phone call to another school.  And the instructor accepted me into the program with open arms.  Three months later I’m frazzled as hell but loving every single second of it.

Not so long ago…

2 months ago I made yet another move.  I applied to a new company in town and was hired on full time.  I had a really good feeling about this company from the start, and knew I was in the right place from the first time I walked in the door.  Lt. T. (THE best supervisor I’ve ever worked with), D (who lost his intermediate card to me in a fierce game of Monopoly, but keeps me smiling ), and Boy Wonder (who would be my partner I’m VERY proud to say) have been the most amazing crew to work with.  McHottie, Tall Dark and Irish, K., and AJ are also working here.  I’m surrounded by the best and brightest, and there’s no stopping us –  or what we can do with this new opportunity!

1 short month ago I finally was able to see the sun shine through the clouds.  I’m in a good place, surrounded by my people.  I’m moving forward toward obtaining that damn P card (come hell or high water!!!) For the first time in I dont know how long, everyone around me is all good.

A far cry from 12 months ago.

A far cry.

8 Comments

  • hydrantgirl says:

    Great post, and thanks for sharing your ups and downs with us.

  • Timothy says:

    WOW! I’m amazed at the dramatic change from just a year ago. I wish you the best!

  • mack505 says:

    Way to go, Epi! It looks even more dramatic when you put it all together like this.

  • A very nice pick-me-up post, Epi. Remember to come back here and re-read yourself when you’re feeling low, this is clear evidence that there really is a light if you’re patient and hang in there. Strong work.

  • Sean says:

    *two thumbs up*

  • medic 22 says:

    Epi, this post made me smile on a morning when I needed it.

    I am so proud of you and I truly cherish our friendship.

    All the best to you, my friend. You deserve every bit of it.

  • Rachel says:

    Epi….

    My husband filed for divorce this weekend. It was a shock to me, I didn’t see it coming. I haven’t been on your blog in a long time…I had to take a break from blogging, and today, in my haze of trying to figure out what to do with myself now, I decided to take a peek and see how things were going for you.

    Thanks for this post….because I pray that 12 months from now, my future can be brighter. I can’t see the sun right now….but things like this remind me that I might again.

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