Eleven years ago I met a boy.

And he made me smile and laugh.  He bought me flowers and held open doors.  We would sing, and shake our asses, and have silly string fights in the living room.  We had so much fun.  And gawd was he hot.  I endured three hours in a 15 year old truck with virtually no brakes just to see him.  He drove hours to see me even though he didn’t know if I was was working or not. (This was back when most folks didn’t have cell phones, Ya’ll.)  I did whatever I could to see him.  He made me laugh.  And he made me smile.  And after a few months I realized, as he did, that we loved each other.  God, help us both, we were in love.

We loved each other.  We didn’t want anyone  else.  We just wanted each other.

Whatever this girl wanted to do, he did.  For my part, I sold the camera that my Father bought for me to pay for the insurance on a car that was barely street legal.  I wanted to move to where he was, just to be near him.

We were in love.

How would you feel if you weren’t allowed to be married to the one you love?  That person who makes you feel alive?  The one who you want to tell all of your secrets to?  The one who you want to run home to at the end of a really shitty day? The one who you can’t imagine life without?  The one who makes the butterflies show up at just the thought of them.  You know that feeling, right?

Well let’s just say that you can’t marry them.  The Parents don’t approve.


“But we’re responsible adults… We have good jobs, we pay our bills… Hell, we even vote…”

Too bad, so sad.

“Okay, can you explain why?”

No, it’s just not right.

“Okay, I understand that you’re against this, could you give me a legitimate reason why?”

No.  Now go brush your teeth, go to bed, and forget about this nonsense.

All of those emotions, those legitimate feelings, kicked under the rug, basically, dismissed.  All because someone out there, your Mother, your Father, or someone as insignificant as someone you don’t even know says that “It’s wrong.

That’s their only response.

“It’s wrong.”

Tell me how messed up that would be?  How hurt would you be?  You aren’t allowed the basic rights that everyone else has.

Who are THEY to judge what is right and what is wrong?

They don’t even know me.  They don’t know what we have.


This past week in the state of Maine a great injustice was dealt to one of my closest friends and many others, and it’s pissing me the hell off.

I’m talking about Gay marriage rights.

Who are WE to decide?  Honestly.

Think about this.

How many relationships do you know of (gay, straight, or other) that have ended because of one reason or another?

Countless, right?

Infidelity.  Dishonesty.  Jealousy.  Money issues.  Trust issues.  Total incompatibility.  “We rushed into it.”  You name it, the excuses and reasons are out there.  And every single person who has an excuse believes that it’s legitimate.

And to those people, it IS legitimate.

Let’s face it folks, we’re all human.  We all have real feelings and emotions and we’re driven by the same things.

Gay or straight.

We’re all people.  We’re all human.

To tell anyone that they can’t marry someone because it’s just not right?

What the HELL.  This is not right, and it needs to end.  It needs to end now.

Love is love.

Don’t you dare tell me, or any of my people, who we are allowed to love and who we aren’t.

Love is love.


  • Mike says:

    Amen sister!

  • Nathan says:

    You’ve got to be a long lost sister of mine! I adore you!

    Love is a beautiful thing that should be honored and celebrated. If someone is lucky enough to find it, why should anyone else do anything but feel joy for them? I simply cannot understand it.

    Maybe it’s jealousy. I just don’t know.

  • JS says:

    Not sure I share your feelings…. But its not up to me to judge….. JS

  • Bobball says:

    Here’s my thoughts:
    Short answer…you’re spot on.

    Longer answer: If we no longer count marriage as a sacrament of the church (no particular church in mind here), then “Marriage” should be up to the church. That means, if you’re straight and go to the Justice of the Peace, you shouldn’t be married…call it something else (like Vermont’s Civil Union). And, if a church (again, no particular church in mind) wants to marry you, whether it’s man and woman, or two men, or two women; then you should be married.

    If we are going to call marriage a secular event (so someone can be married by the JP or at the courthouse), then it needs to be open to every eligible person.


  • Bobball says:

    Ok…so now I have to reply to myself.

    If Marriage _IS_ a sacrament of the church, then it should be up to the church…

    Too damned early.


  • hydrantgirl says:

    It’s leagal up here in Canada…. and beautiful this time of year….

  • karen says:

    Two words:
    Darn Straight!

    Love is love- that is all there is to it.

  • Medic 22 says:

    Love aside, allowing committed couples to “marry” is just the right thing to do.

    Imagine being critically injured and your partner not being able to make medical decisions for you … hell, maybe your partner won’t even be allowed to VISIT if you’re in ICU! That’s wrong, and that’s a reason to make equal rights for partners a reality.

    This shouldn’t even really be a debate over the sanctity of marriage anymore, it’s simply about doing the right thing for other humans.

  • Gardenqueen says:

    It always amazes me that some people feel perfectly comfortable taking a right away from someone else that they wouldn’t want taken from then. How does it go, do unto others?

  • Chris says:

    Love is a special thing shared with 2 people…It’s a dayum shame where politics and “old school” beliefs get in the way of a couple who is happy, in love and knows they will be spending the rest of their lives together…

    Epi your totally right “Love is Love” and I too wish that there were many more like you that would stand up and say enough of the BS and just let people live the lives they know in their hearts is the right thing for them.

  • Mr618 says:

    One of my friends is a lesbian. She doesn’t flaunt it, but neither does she try to hide it: she is who she is. She is, to use the old terminology, very visibly, the “dyke” half of her couple (God only knows what the currently-accepted term is). She mentioned that last week, after the defeat of Maine’s same-sex marriage law, her mother was crowing about “puttin’ them queers in their place.” She said, “Mother, you DO realize I’m a lesbian, right?”

    Mother’s jaw damned near hit the floor.

    Amazing how reality bites some people in the ass, isn’t it?

  • Janet says:

    Love is love and to those who think they should be able to legislate what that word means, You are delusional and need to butt out of others rights.

    We should not try to stop people from getting married. I hear really stupid reasons for blocking gay marriage. Someone actually told me that “the gays” are so amorale that they wouldn’t stay married and the divorce rate would shoot up! The hell?!?!?!? I know heteros who have been married for 10 days before getting divorced.

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April Saling