Halloween 2009…

Alternately titled:  Don’t mess with my Boy.

I feel like I failed my kid, and it’s driving me nuts.  Not a huge fail, but any fail as a Parent feels significant.

Let’s start at the beginning.  Future Cardiologist has been struggling lately with picking a costume for Halloween.  In the grand scheme of things this isn’t something that’s earth shaking, but to a tender-hearted little boy who is sensitive to the point where he cries himself to sleep some nights because someone said something to him that was unkind (he IS my boy, after all), it was significant.

I guess this is where I feel like I failed.  I’ve been so consumed with school, and financial issues, and feeling like walking death, and work that I’ve not been as on top of things as I normally am where my kids are concerned.

So when I realized that today, October 31st, was Halloween.  And that FC didn’t have a costume.  I knew how things were going to end.  And it wasn’t well.

(For those of you who haven’t found yourself looking for a costume ON Halloween, let me share this with you.  If it’s a kid you’re shopping for, you’re probably screwed.)

FC didn’t like any of the options available to him.  He finally settled (after four stops at various stores) on what to him looked like what it was.  A racecar driver costume.  (He’s never heard of Nascar, it’s not something we follow in the house.)

A Jeff Gordon costume.

DSC_2927 copy

He looks pretty damn happy even though he wasn’t dressed as a Fireman.  Right? And for the record, had he told me he wanted to be a Firefighter for Halloween, I don’t know, YESTERDAY, I could have helped him.  My boy would have been the most dashing and accurately dressed Firefighter in the city.  Today he was going to have to settle for Jeff Gordon.

So with moderately heavy hearts, dreaming of turnout gear, (and with empty candy bags), we set out to trick or treat.

DSC_2935 copyThat would be the kiddos.

It was going so well.  The kids were remembering to say “Thank You” after receiving their treats.  They were well behaved.  They weren’t even torturing each other.  And that’s something they do almost every second of every day.  The wagon we dragged behind us (in case of a SWR meltdown) was empty.  Candy bags were filling up.

All was well.

And then some jackass decided it would be funny to pick on my kid because he dared to wear a Jeff Gordon costume.

And then another JACKASS (capitalized this time because he was drinking a beer at the time.  With more than a few emptys nearby) two houses down decided to tell him that his uniform “sucked” and that “Junior RULES.”)

FC was confused.  He doesn’t know Jeff Gordon from Dale Jr. from Strawberry effing Shortcake.  What he did know was that two adults had picked on him for what he was wearing.  The kid thought he was a race car driver. 

And that’s cool to a kid.

I found the Momma Bear in me emerging, and pretty quickly.  FC’s eagerness to score as much candy as he could was suddenly replaced with the urge to get home.  His four-year-old sister outlasted him.  I found myself wanting to go back to a few houses and bash some heads.

You can mess with me.  You DON’T mess with my kids.

And I did have that talk with him about how “what other people say doesn’t matter…” And how Jeff Gordon is a very rich race car driver who gets a TON of candy.

We need to work on some things.  I get that.


So maybe I’m a little overprotective.

Maybe you think FC and I need to both harden up a bit.

I know I do.

That being said… A nine-year-old shouldn’t have to harden up. He’s NINE, for crying out loud.  He shouldn’t have to be concerned with anything other than whether or not his Pokemon card will beat a classmates Pokemon card.  We’re working on his self confidence issues.  He’s not the precious little snowflake that I once believed him to be, but he is my kid.  He’s my boy.  And when you mess with my kid, you mess with me.

Who knew that Nascar folks could be so fricking brutal.

And for the two guys who tore my boy’s heart up because they were… Well, assholes…  And he happened to be wearing the wrong costume on Halloween, you better fricking hope that I don’t run across you again.


  • Bob Jester says:

    Not that I advocate property damage or anything smelling of retribution but karma is a funny thing. If you get drunk and make a little kid cry you should have your car locks crazy glued shut some dark moonless night. I hope your son feels better soon.

  • mack505 says:

    The problem with stereotypes is that there’s usually at least one person who fits them. Way to go, Drunken Redneck NASCAR Fans!

  • EMS Chick says:

    I’m sorry FC had such a rough time, those guys are major jackasses. I’m a NASCAR fan and I assure you we are not all like that and most people have enough common sense not to pick on a child. This is why I think we should be able to sterilize people if they’re too stupid to function.

  • You’re right, he shouldn’t have to harden up.

    You, on the other hand, should have ripped a couple of new assholes, right then and there. ;)

    • Epijunky says:

      Words were exchanged, AD.

      They should be extremely grateful that my Mom was there to be the voice of reason and to basically drag me back towards the sidewalk.

  • Jim Isbell says:

    People really piss me off. Why would anyone say something like that to a KID? Even if it’s true, it’s not FC’s fault and I’m relieved you aren’t posting this waiting for a bond hearing-I’m pretty sure my wife would be in jail over something like that!

  • Keri says:

    OMG Epi, add me to your list of people to call for bail if you wind up hurting those jackasses. What kind of bully picks on a kid?? Pathetic.

  • Karen Myers says:

    Epi, I think you are a saint not to have hurt someone over that. My mama bear came roaring out of me when I read it. Pretty sad when the kids are more mature than the adults. Absolutely pathetic, and that doesn’t say enough! I’d bail you out, too.

  • ron w says:

    I agree a nine year old shouldn’t have to harden up. Sorry a couple of a holes had to ruin halloween

  • Wayne Conrad says:

    We handed out candy, having no little kids to take door-to-door. And let me tell you, we told every kid, whether they had an elaborate costume that obviously took days to prepare, or the most minimal “Oh my God where did the time go?” costume, that their outfit was great and here’s an extra piece of candy.

    Adults picking on kids deserve far worse than the law or conscience permits.

  • medic 22 says:

    Its a fact. Some people are jerks. You are a supermom for standing up to said jerks for your kiddo.

    Strong work.

  • maddmedic says:

    Screw with me okay!
    Screw with my kids?
    I’ll screw up up!!!
    You did good. No assault charges and no personal injuries….
    Not that they could not have use a good kick somewhere painful…

  • tracy says:

    That is just soooo mean, it goes beyond words…when i think someone might hurt my son in any way (and he’s 18!), it just breaks my heart. i am sooo very sorry this happened to you!

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